Off We Go into the Great Girl-yonder...

So all of this thinking about change and about what is my calling has me relating it to my boys. At 6 & 8, they have all the time in the world to be so wonderfully un-formed and unencumbered, but it doesn't let me off the hook as their mom.
My girlfriends have heard me say a million times it is hillarious that I didn't have a daughter. Now don't get me wrong, I am the quintessential Boys' Mom. Boys are meant to be boys and should be raised to be good men. My discipline style is very narrow and immediate. I am absolutely crazy about boys and their God-given maleness, which has blessed me with a whole new appreciation for my hubbie, my dad and all the other great men I am lucky to know.
But back in the day, I just knew exactly what to say to a girl. I wanted to give her the gift of confidence with a touch of pride so that she would know not to give up her power (sexually and socially) so easily. I wanted her to have a passion for for passion--to be bold without apologizing for her femininity and to follow her heart whether it was to her babies or to the White House.
So that brings me to my boys. If I am trying to live an authentic, female life, how is that supposed to translate to my mothering job? I know that I want the boys to live character-filled lives and we have conversations quite often about this. (I am known to tell them that there are only two types of rules in our house: the first kind helps them to stay alive and the second is to teach them to be good men). But I think there is more that I can give them and I am trying to frame this big picture. I am starting with the idea that girls are Wonderful. I want to plant a seed in their hearts that lets them know that the right girl will inspire them, challenge them and help them to be more than they could be on their own, and in turn should be cherished for this and supported in her turn. I hope one day they will choose someone they have to earn. But I think there is more and I would love to hear from other moms--of boys and girls-- what thet hope the men of tomorrow will know and believe.
Cole told me a couple months ago about a girl in his class that he thought about alot. He would bring her pictures of puppies and hold his breath when she sat down near him, but told me she didn't talk to him very much.
"Do you talk to her first?" I asked.
"No."
"Well, you know it's hard for girls to talk to boys too if they don't have brothers or don't know you very well," I answer. "Girls get shy, too."
He thought for a moment and asked, "Well how do I get her to talk?"
"Always start with your manners and then just get to know her--what does she like, what is her family like, what makes her smile? After that is should get easier," and I gave him a quick hug. "Girls will always appreciate being listened to." I add.
"OK," and he runs off to be with his brothers as if we never had a conversation at all.
But I saw him in school recently with this girl and her best friend, and they were all laughing and talking. He just looked at me with a devilish smile.
Later I query, "Looks like you figured out how to talk to girls. I told you they aren't scary."
"I know. And they like it when I tease them too."
Oh boy, here we go...