Act Your Age!

So I turned 35 today and it's all good. BUT, everyone thinks, as a woman, you should be upset and don't want to admit your age. So I will go along with that in the future, but where most women say they are 29 at every birthday, I will start adding 18 years to my real age. Instead of being an aged 29 year old, I would rather be the most gorgeous 53 year old to walk the planet.

When did I get so short?!

Seriously. I just took a look at the photo of me below on my first day back to work. Can someone please tell when that happened. I look sawed off. You know, like cankles (where your calves go straight into ankles with no tapering) except my ribs go straight into my hips. What would that be? Rips? No, the irony is too much. How 'bout boobs straight into hips--bips?

Maneater, cha-cha-cha!

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it. Mae West


I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it. Marilyn Monroe


Ok, it's Shallow Gal time. Tonight is round 2 for Dancing With the Starts--primo guilty pleasure and I must talk about Pamela Anderson. I was absolutely mesmorized watching her last night: not because of her boobs' ability to defy all movement, NOT because of outstanding dance skills and not because her mannerisms were a little left of sober. I could not take my eyes of her for the same reason that men everywhere cannot take their eyes off of her. She is a predator.
As naive as it sounds, I have always assumed that the role of femme fatale was exactly that--a role, a persona that the confident slip on, like a negligee, to lure the sloppier sex. I had no idea it was a personality trait, but after watching Pammy, it must be. When she gave men hugs, her body wrapped around them like a blanket. When she smiled, she tilted her chin down and her eyes up. Because of her proportions, her partner's hands could barely be placed in an appropriate spot on her body during the dance (although, I do get the distinct impression that even her armpit is probably so brazen it alone could make a man...well, you know). She even BIT her partner out of--sheer excitement???--after the performance. Who does that?! Every inhale, every movement, every smile was like watching her have sex. She even licked her lips constantly, something I try not to do ever in public because I am sure I would look like an affectionate buffalo.
I was mesmerized. I was jealous. I was scared.
I couldn't help but think that there must be something a little broken there, and my heart goes out to her. But another part of me wondered at her total ownership of the female power. Couldn't there be something to learn from that.
--Pause please to let that sink in, or to just breathe heavy for a minute--
Marilyn, Mae, Cleopatra...I have a new appreciation for their legacy.
So Ocho Cinco move over, I am tuned in to watch America be turned on.
Kyle just laughed at me and asked, "You didn't know there was something else going on besides what she looked like? How do you think she got picked out of the crowd at a baseball game?"
Duh...
Check Pamela Anderson's 1st dance here ;) Dance Pammy Dance!