Redneck Advice #27: Never Own a Dog that Looks Like a Rat

It must be said that if you do not live with or have a close relationship with at least one redneck, you are missing out. 'Necks have a fantastically down-to-earth view of the world that is just damn hillarious. Kyle was driving in the middle of nowhere Texas on a rig-move passing through a shotgun town with only a beer store/gas station and one other place of business. It wasn't until the 3rd pass through that he realized the other business was a hair salon called "Curl Up and Dye". AWESOME!!!!!

The night before he was drinking beer with the other hands (he'll be so mad at me for calling them that, ha!) on the motel balconey--in yet another Bumble town--when he saw a shadow of a bird or bat on the wall. In his tipsy state it startled the hell out of him, enough to make him duck. Good thing too, because just then an owl swooped down barely missing him. This incident launched crazy owl and bird stories, cuz if you live in the country everyone has at least a few of those. The funniest, or really the most awful story, was from his buddy who was outside with his dogs, one of which was a chihuahua. WARNING: Stop reading now if this is going to be too much for you...One minute walking along and sniffing the grass, next minute snatched up by a hungry barn owl who mistook him for a rat.
Cue music, "Ooooohhhh, I wish I was in the land of cotton. Old times they are not forgotten..."